I read this through angry tears. I'm so sorry this happened, and I'm so pleased you told them to fuck off. I feel such love and gratitude for the Onsen Hotel and Spa, and for Ronnie, and for everyone who stood up, helped, and made you feel welcome and supported. xo
As a member of the Desert Hot Springs City Council, and a gay man I’m mortified that this happened to you. That property is an embarrassment to my city (but with so much potential and hidden charm waiting to be revitalized under good owners as you noted). But as you found out, literally any other spa in our city would welcome you and your husband with open arms. In addition to The Onsen, The Good House is owned by an African American gay man, MiKassa Hot Springs is owned by a gay couple, Desert Hot Springs Inn is managed by a gay man. Generally our city is very welcoming to everyone and I hope you’ll return and not let this unfortunate instance at a trashy hotel keep you or any of your readers away.
Hi Gary -- thanks for your very thoughtful reply. Yeah, it's hard not to look at that place and see its extraordinary potential. But, I do know there are many other, friendlier and welcoming spots in DHS. We'll be back someday, and I'll make note of the places you mentioned here. Thanks for being a good city council member.
I’m so sorry that happened to you and I am so glad you wrote about it! You are warriors of love and acceptance and artful living. Giant hugs to you both — xoxox Anad (Nivel)
So sorry you got harassed by the douche bros. They’re EVERYWHERE. And as a straight Christian woman I am appalled at the hate and violence being directed at the LGBTQ+ community. Shonda! Which means shame in Hebrew. These people disgust me and represent the worst of our country.
Chris, you and Bobby are bright lights in this world. I also read what happened to you through angry tears and a squeeze of fear. I wrap my arms around you both, for what you went through and for who you are, elite warriors for love, for art, for powerful friendship and community. Shine on, dear brothers.
You set the scene beautifully. I was so ready experience a lovely vacation day with you and Bobby And then... schaBLAM!!! It's terrible that the world is deciding that it's okay to be openly homophobic and racist and sexist again. I liked it better for the brief time when people were afraid to be shamed for being that way. But I love that you found a place to have a lovely summer day in the pool and that those places and people are still prevalent. You and Bobby are warriors for Presence, Peace and Personal Freedom!!!!! You didn't let him get away with being a homophobic prick. Yay for that!
Chris and Bobby, first of all, thank you for sharing that story! It does make me anger knowing what you experienced in PS of all places! Yet, in today’s environment nothing surprises me that we still have people in America threatened by any one not like them! I’m not sure what’s worst in some parts, being gay in America or being black!🤬 regardless, we are here and those that are feeling threatened by your presence are just missing out on kind, loving, fun humans! ❤️ (laural’s ex neighbors)
Donna! Hello my dear. Thanks for your sweet note. Yes, it's a time of regression and hysteria. So important to be aware and to let others know what's going on. So happy hearing from you--and hope the vineyard is thriving! XC
Staggering account that made my stomach tighten and put my nerves on edge. Homophobia is a knee jerk accepted vibe again, masquerading as "just protecting the kids."
So sorry this happened to you! I too offer hugs. I admire your fortitude and honesty. You guys remind me of my best friends/neighbors who travel all over the world in their cute outfits.. ;-) Keep doing what you're doing — don't be intimidated!
This is such a difficult story to read, knowing you and Bobby and the light and love you bring to the world. Thank you so much for the story, for the reminder, for the words you shared to represent yourself and your experience, and for who you and Bobby are to all of us. Love and more love!!!!
I've been going there for over three decades. About a dozen years ago, the REAL Changing Room was the adjacent hallway that led to a 16 ft x 24 ft changing room. It had six benches like the ones in the hallway and it had wall of lockers also. For about a year, some hotel inventory stuff was placed in the more inactive corner. Then the inventory pile grew and grew - they then used the entire changing room as hotel inventory. They shouldn't have done that.
My sweet friends, I am so sorry this happened and glad you spoke up and more glad for the eventual kindness you were shown. I am beaming love on you and Bobby and your floral hat and all the good you bring to this world.
I’m so, so sorry Chris. In your rage inducing story, what occurred to me is that, while the first spa is the world, the second spa is, too. And that gives me hope.
This is just heartbreaking. I long for a world of love and acceptance among all living beings. I'm so sorry this happened to you and Bobby. It just makes me cry.
I read this through angry tears. I'm so sorry this happened, and I'm so pleased you told them to fuck off. I feel such love and gratitude for the Onsen Hotel and Spa, and for Ronnie, and for everyone who stood up, helped, and made you feel welcome and supported. xo
Also, fuck the Desert Hot Springs Hotel and Spa.
Thanks, friend. I so appreciate the love and support.
As a member of the Desert Hot Springs City Council, and a gay man I’m mortified that this happened to you. That property is an embarrassment to my city (but with so much potential and hidden charm waiting to be revitalized under good owners as you noted). But as you found out, literally any other spa in our city would welcome you and your husband with open arms. In addition to The Onsen, The Good House is owned by an African American gay man, MiKassa Hot Springs is owned by a gay couple, Desert Hot Springs Inn is managed by a gay man. Generally our city is very welcoming to everyone and I hope you’ll return and not let this unfortunate instance at a trashy hotel keep you or any of your readers away.
Gary Gardner
City Council Member
Desert Hot Springs, CA
Hi Gary -- thanks for your very thoughtful reply. Yeah, it's hard not to look at that place and see its extraordinary potential. But, I do know there are many other, friendlier and welcoming spots in DHS. We'll be back someday, and I'll make note of the places you mentioned here. Thanks for being a good city council member.
I’m so sorry that happened to you and I am so glad you wrote about it! You are warriors of love and acceptance and artful living. Giant hugs to you both — xoxox Anad (Nivel)
Anad! Thank you. I adore you, forever. xx
So sorry you got harassed by the douche bros. They’re EVERYWHERE. And as a straight Christian woman I am appalled at the hate and violence being directed at the LGBTQ+ community. Shonda! Which means shame in Hebrew. These people disgust me and represent the worst of our country.
Thanks, Pamela -- I appreciate the words of support. And, yes, it's a scary time. The fear mongers have whipped up a frenzy. xx
Chris, you and Bobby are bright lights in this world. I also read what happened to you through angry tears and a squeeze of fear. I wrap my arms around you both, for what you went through and for who you are, elite warriors for love, for art, for powerful friendship and community. Shine on, dear brothers.
Helena—thanks for the kind comment. And for wrapping your arms around us. Love. ❤️
You set the scene beautifully. I was so ready experience a lovely vacation day with you and Bobby And then... schaBLAM!!! It's terrible that the world is deciding that it's okay to be openly homophobic and racist and sexist again. I liked it better for the brief time when people were afraid to be shamed for being that way. But I love that you found a place to have a lovely summer day in the pool and that those places and people are still prevalent. You and Bobby are warriors for Presence, Peace and Personal Freedom!!!!! You didn't let him get away with being a homophobic prick. Yay for that!
Yes! It's become OK for folks to be their worst selves. Thanks for your kind note. XC
Miss you! xoxo
Chris and Bobby, first of all, thank you for sharing that story! It does make me anger knowing what you experienced in PS of all places! Yet, in today’s environment nothing surprises me that we still have people in America threatened by any one not like them! I’m not sure what’s worst in some parts, being gay in America or being black!🤬 regardless, we are here and those that are feeling threatened by your presence are just missing out on kind, loving, fun humans! ❤️ (laural’s ex neighbors)
Donna! Hello my dear. Thanks for your sweet note. Yes, it's a time of regression and hysteria. So important to be aware and to let others know what's going on. So happy hearing from you--and hope the vineyard is thriving! XC
Chris and Bobby - you are welcome in my space :)
Thank you, Ruh! xx
Staggering account that made my stomach tighten and put my nerves on edge. Homophobia is a knee jerk accepted vibe again, masquerading as "just protecting the kids."
Thank you, Jay. It certainly feels like we moved backward. xx
So sorry this happened to you! I too offer hugs. I admire your fortitude and honesty. You guys remind me of my best friends/neighbors who travel all over the world in their cute outfits.. ;-) Keep doing what you're doing — don't be intimidated!
Thanks for your kind note, Jan. And for the virtual hugs! 🧡❤️💜
This is such a difficult story to read, knowing you and Bobby and the light and love you bring to the world. Thank you so much for the story, for the reminder, for the words you shared to represent yourself and your experience, and for who you and Bobby are to all of us. Love and more love!!!!
Thanks, friend! Appreciate the loving support. ❤️💋🌈
I've been going there for over three decades. About a dozen years ago, the REAL Changing Room was the adjacent hallway that led to a 16 ft x 24 ft changing room. It had six benches like the ones in the hallway and it had wall of lockers also. For about a year, some hotel inventory stuff was placed in the more inactive corner. Then the inventory pile grew and grew - they then used the entire changing room as hotel inventory. They shouldn't have done that.
Sounds like they've made some poor decisions.
Wow, very well told story. I actually got teary when the manager in the 'good' place gave you a hug. ❤️
thank you, Ariana! xx
My sweet friends, I am so sorry this happened and glad you spoke up and more glad for the eventual kindness you were shown. I am beaming love on you and Bobby and your floral hat and all the good you bring to this world.
Thank you, sweet friend. I appreciate the loving and supportive words. 🩵
I’m so, so sorry Chris. In your rage inducing story, what occurred to me is that, while the first spa is the world, the second spa is, too. And that gives me hope.
Blair! Hi. And yes, I love that way of looking at it. So true. 🩵🌈💎
This is just heartbreaking. I long for a world of love and acceptance among all living beings. I'm so sorry this happened to you and Bobby. It just makes me cry.
Thank you, dear Marta. I so appreciate your loving presence in the world and in my life. xx