Scared to Run
Cynthia Rojas writes about a ska/punk band she heard play at the Whiskey a Go Go, and how they--and their electrifying female singer--helped the visual artist find her way
Welcome to The Artist’s Survival Guide, where artists share the art that got them through. A movie, a garden, a song, a meal, a favorite dance class, the novel that’s been read several times over. For many of us, these things give us faith, they are where we find comfort, succor and direction. Maybe a shift in perspective. I hope this column will do some of that for you, too. - Chris
SCARED TO RUN
by
Photography was my favorite subject in high school. My parent's plan was that I stay in Los Angeles after I graduate and go to a design school or film school or any school, really. My dream was to move out right after high school and abandon California for New York, but when the time came, my fear of the unknown kept me home. As a compromise—and to buy some time—I enrolled in the photography program at a community college about thirty minutes from where I grew up.
This alternative felt much less scary than the dream.
My favorite part about Cypress College was my encouraging and supportive photography Professor, Rob Johnson. His brilliance and kindness made my community college experience artistically positive.
But I was itching for more.
I didn’t have a female role model or mentor and most of my friends were staying put, so after months of feeling like I was going nowhere, I was even more frustrated and confused about my future. It didn’t make sense to me to go to a university to be an artist, and I didn’t want to go to design school, so what to do? It was the early 90’s, and the World Wide Web had only about twenty websites, thus making it difficult to find alternatives to my current situation.
A friend named Kim from my photography class had introduced me to her best friend, Tony. He was in a Ska/Punk band with his girlfriend, and they both went to school with us. They played colleges and clubs from Los Angeles to Orange County. Kim loved the band and invited me to go see them with her. After a frustrating day of browsing school catalogs, and feeling defeated, I said yes.
We headed out to the Whisky a Go Go, the legendary music club in Hollywood. It was an all-ages show, and it was packed. There were a lot of young shirtless dudes and I feared what I was about to hear.
Please don’t be a band that attracts a mosh pit of sweaty guys, I prayed to myself.
The band came out on stage. I recognized the lead singer from school. She was wearing a tight black-and-white mini dress, fishnets, and Mary Janes. The band consisted of drums, keyboard, guitar, saxophone, trumpet, trombone, with Kim’s friend Tony on bass. Their first song was fast and the lead singer moved all over the stage with frenetic energy. As I had feared , a mosh pit ensued. But I didn’t really care because the singer was mesmerizing. She danced with swagger while belting out a long string of lyrics.
“You'll always find me waiting for that train to come through
Come get me, take me
To the land where my dreams come true”
Invigorated and thrilled by this young female powerhouse, I felt inspired and became an instant fan with a slight girl crush.
What makes her so fearless? Whatever it was, I needed some too.
She and the band’s infectious music and fun attitude became an instant cure for my fears and doubts.
“Sometimes I hide somewhat
Like a bulb behind a shade
And sometimes I ask myself why
Is it 'cause the lights are too bright
Or because my eyes are closed too tight”
With new determination, I accepted that New York might not be the next stop. My photography professor Rob brainstormed with me and recommended that I apply to an art school in San Francisco that had a great photography program.
That year I was accepted into the San Francisco Art Institute.
I stayed in San Francisco for 8 years. It was a big change from my hometown. I listened to No Doubt whenever I felt insecure or scared.
It wasn’t New York but I knew that I would get there eventually.
In the meantime, I became part of an incredible group of artists that have continued to inspire me to this day.
Cynthia Rojas is a painter happily living in New York City since 2001. She received her BFA from the San Francisco Art Institute and her MFA from the School of Visual Arts in New York City. She has exhibited throughout the country and abroad, and has a solo painting show on now at Kathryn Markel Gallery at 529 W. 20th St in Manhattan.
What a cool story!!